


nightmares

by ladybugteeth



Category: Dangan Ronpa - All Media Types
Genre: Alternate Universe - Non-Despair (Dangan Ronpa), Childhood Trauma, F/F, Heavy Angst, Hurt No Comfort, Nightmares, POV Second Person, Rape/Non-con Elements, Tsumiki Mikan Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-02-06
Updated: 2021-02-06
Packaged: 2021-03-17 22:01:22
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29232696
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ladybugteeth/pseuds/ladybugteeth
Summary: Nightmares are not uncommon in your life considering what's happened to you.A non despair Mikan Tsumiki  fanfic.Please read the notes.
Relationships: Enoshima Junko/Tsumiki Mikan, Koizumi Mahiru/Saionji Hiyoko, Mioda Ibuki/Tsumiki Mikan, Saionji Hiyoko & Tsumiki Mikan
Comments: 4
Kudos: 27





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hi vent fic lol. all of the characters other than Mikan are mentioned. Also the ocs are just her bullies and gave her mom like one line. (which is something my mother has said to me. can we tell i'm projecting? also shes like 5'11 because kin moment and i always thought she was really tall and clumsy because of her height. like shes all leg. but tw for csa, cocsa, rape, underage, junkan ( i dont ship it because its abuse but theres a scene that junkos in), abuse, bullying and just like general unsettling things idk.

There are hands all over you. No piece of flesh is untouched as you feel the pain and ache wither in your bones. The hands come from different parts of the worst points of your life. The first set, the most fresh, is long bony fingers. The too long red nails holding your face for one moment, slapping you and sinking her nails in your scalp the next. She's speaking, probably telling you what a fuck up you are and everything. You're speaking, repeating the mantra of “I'm sorry, I'm sorry”. In nightmares like this you are simply watching it in 3rd person. You can see her walk away from your limp body, curled up on the floor clutching your cheek. She pushes you on the ground and puts her platform boot in your back, holds it there for a minute, or a second, or an hour. Time doesn't feel real, it never does. She removes the boot from your back, you wish you could feel the relief of it being gone. But the weight is always there, boot or not. She leans in, your nose crinkles as you smell the strong fruity perfume invading your space. She presses a kiss onto your forehead and whispers an “I love you”. She then yanks you up, sets you on her bed. She's only an inch taller than you with her giant heels but she's always felt taller, no matter what. When she lifts you up you feel so small, even though you're like 4 inches taller than her. She leaves the room and you have a minute to calm down. This is what you deserve, right? She loves you, she really loves you. This is just how Junko shows it, you know that. She comes back and throws the first aid kit at you. Your head was bleeding, you didn't realize until you touched it. She goes back to whatever she was doing and you're left alone. 

Your surroundings have changed, you can't smell perfume, you can't hear Junko's laugh and the feeling of constantly being watched is gone. But your senses pick you new things, the plush carpet under you disappeared and was replaced by the feeling of scraped knees on asphalt, the noise of Junko yelling at you is now children insulting you and her hands are replaced by slightly sticky pudge hands. They were holding things like scissors, bugs and markers waiting to use them on you. Your classmates, boys and girls are all surrounding you, your babbling apologies, begging for forgiveness. Your words fall on deaf ears and at this point you wonder who you're apologizing to maybe them or maybe to god for existing. You think of what your mother once said to you, one of your best moments with her. She was smoking a cigarette at the kitchen table, when you went to get a glass of water, assuming she was passed out somewhere. Immediately after you saw her you flinched on impact, she told you to sit down, you could tell she was barely drunk because her voice was strong. If you really over-analyzed it (which you did) one could call it gentle. You tentatively sat down next to her, she took a long drag of the cigarette and said, “I love you Mikan, I do. You know if god was real maybe, my life wouldn't have sucked so badly.” 

When your mother told you that she loved you and when Junko said it you understood that was the price of love. It most hurt but they must love you if they stayed since your such a fuck up. You feel fat tears fall on your lap, looking at the ground. People are pulling your hair, taking scissors and chopping the long pieces off. You can barely feel it until they snip your bangs. You feel little hairs tickle your face. Your start crying harder, the hairs irritating your eyes. The boys start to push you down, while the girls back away. You think they finally left but you won't dare look up. The hands come back. The heat radiating from them is unbearable. You squirm away from their touch but it's no use. Every mark they leave is painful and hot. They're groping you and go for sensitive areas. Just to feel around, to feel the most delicate spots. They make you strip and take off your top. The thick black marker there using on your breasts feels warm but not the scalding temperature of their bodies. After what feels like years they back away, looking you up and down, admiring their work. Then they run off, they must have heard the bell while you were in a haze. You slowly pick yourself up, allowing yourself to waste time by crying. You first button your shirt and grab your jacket. Your bag is still there which is kind rare because usually they'd do stuff to your belongings. You send a silent prayer to however let this happen, maybe there is a god. You reach the nurses office and go for the first aid kit. She always leaves the side door open, a rare act of kindness that you cherish. Once you sit down on a cot a feeling of dread enters your subconscious. This is a dream after all and there was still one more set of hands lingering on you. 

Please no… not this part. The memories of the worst part of your life begins to play out. Your screaming for your mother, begging her to come save you from the man that entered your room. He’s disgusting, he smells like alcohol, sweat and he's grimy. He stuffs a fat hand over your mouth but it basically takes up your entire face. He uses his other hand to forcefully shimmy you out of your pj pants and top. He’s on top of you and he feels so warm. Now that your pajamas are off and you only have your underwear on, he starts groping your chest. You try to kick and hit him but he's effectively pinning you down. His hands start to reach down to your underwear and you start crying and whimpering. His hand left your face in favor to grab your hips instead. He rips off your underwear and starts to touch more. Fingers slipping in and out. Then he enters and the pain is unbearable. You kick, scream and bite at him but you're just a child. He's a 40 year old man, once again you are a child. He's thrusting in you and basically breaking your hips. A couple moments later you feel something hot and sticky fill your stomach. He pulls out and touches your face a little. Then stumbles out of the room and you don't dare move. Fearing he may come back, maybe with mom or other people. Because mom always has other people and other men over and they usually just give long hugs. Or give you candy or have their hands accidentally graze your butt or chest. But when they sometimes went into your room they never stayed for long or touched you. Just barley came in and asked you questions on where your mom was. Like you knew. But this man touched you, entered you, and deep down you knew this wouldn't be the last time it happened. So you sit and wait for someone to come back but they don't and you're left laying there. Eventually drifting off into a dreamless sleep with the feeling of dread lingering over you. 

17 year old Mikan Tsumiki wakes up from one from one of her most intense nightmares yet


	2. chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> you wake up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> last chapter!!! there's mentions of other characters in here too!! i'm gonna keep writing in this little "universe" ive made. so the next fic is gonna be about Mukuro since she's mentioned.

You wake up in a cold sweat. Your body is warm and the memories are still fresh. Tears spill over your pillow as you curl yourself into a tighter ball. You need to calm down and remember that no one can hurt you. Junko and her sister are separated, Junko being in a court ordered mental hospital and Mukuro being in an inpatient facility until she recovers from the abuse she endured as well. She's going to the same one you were admitted into last year. You worry about her sometimes,, she never actually hurt you and you can sympathize with her. She was also brainwashed and abused but she endured it her whole life not just the short months you knew her. Plus you could stand to be in a room with her if you ever had too. Mukuro’s face was different, her cheekbones were gaunt, she had freckles and her eyes didn't have gleam in them that made her look insane. Mukuro had black short hair, she was skinnier and her voice was not obnoxious. So yea you worry about her sometimes. Convincing yourself that you'll never see the others was much easier. You former classmates all went to different highschools and you haven't been to where your mother lived or seen her in years. You also worry about her. She's an addict ,she could be rotting in that godforsaken house all alone. Thinking of that possibility makes your chest hurt. Ibuki's snug sweatshirt now feels like it's suffocating you. You need to take it off since you feel like you're choking but it smells like Ibuki. You miss her so much. But she has a concert tomorrow and you're not gonna go bother her with your problems. She needs sleep or knowing her she's practicing her songs that have already been perfected hundreds of times. But you're always eager to listen to them no matter how many times you’ve heard them. So bothering Ibuki is out of the question,, but you could do for a change of scenery.

So you slowly uncurl yourself out of the bed. Grounding yourself by letting your feet hang off the bed. You get up and turn on a lamp at the lowest setting ,, you can't deal with the light right now. You gingerly put on pants and socks. It's winter but you want to go outside. You need to see someone or something right now. You briefly consider who to talk to, maybe Nagito since you too are close, maybe even Hiyoko. You are now friends since you had a very long talk about how you're sick of her being mean to you. She knows your trauma and you know hers. She could help calm you down since she has her fair share of nightmares. Ones about the bullies and family members, the people trying to kill her and her grandma coming to take her away from Hope's Peak or from her dad. But she has to get rest as well since she's dancing at the concert too. She’s probably in Mahiru's room, there basically attached at the hip. Always having sleepovers, eating lunch together and sitting next to each other in class. She’s Mahiru’s favorite person to take photos of, she's got so many of Hiyoko just sitting in class, looking at flowers, dancing or posing for her. So they’re also not available to vent to, maybe Nagito? No he doesnt wanna hear about Junko. She was awful to him too. You're not gonna burden him by talking about her. So you sigh and carefully walk out of the dorm. Walking down the girls hallway, seeing who's awake by the light under their dorms. Peko’s light was off, Sonia’s was off, Ibuki’s somehow was off which is so rare since the girl never sleeps, Chiaki’s was off as well, not as rare, Mahiru's and Hiyoko's light was off as well and Akane's. You could talk to Akane because she's been through the same thing but you too aren't close. So that's a no and you're surprised she's not in the kitchen getting a midnight snack. You walk down the stairs and look around making sure no one is in the common room or kitchen. No one is so you can effectively “sneak out”. Which isn't not allowed but not encouraged. But whatever. 

When you get outside it's cold, you welcome the freezing air. You huff a little, your breath is visible. You walk around a little bit finding a nice bench to sit on. The bench in a nice sitting area in front of the dorms. It's got a fountain in front of it that's been shut off for the winter and there are dead plants all around it. It's quaint but you need to look at something other than dead things right now. So you look up at the dark night sky. The stars are like little with rhinestones in a vast black blanket. You think the stars look particularly nice tonight. You heard a class 79-B boy with spike purple hair tell a girl with long black pigtails and a boy whose face was obscured with a hat that you could see a lot of stars by the campus. He was right, the stars are so pretty. You can see so many constellations in the sky. You stay out there for a while, getting lost in the beauty of space. You don't know what time it is since you neglected your phone in your dorm. But you're assuming it's one in the morning so you should get back to bed. It's so peaceful out here, light from the street lamps and the moon is soft and welcomes you to stay. But you need sleep, you have to help Ibuki and your friends out tomorrow. So you walk back to the dorm, coming in as careful as you left. Your room is just as you left it. The lamp illuminates your walls, you have a lot of pictures and posters adoring them. All the photos are of you and your friends, ones a class photo, some field trip photos with your class, some pictures with Nagito, some with Ryota, you have some of Hiyoko and Mahiru but your most cherished are with Ibuki. There's some of her playing the bass, singing and some of her posing. Canids of hers are most common but there's some planned ones too. Some of the posters are medical ones, like anatomy and stuff, all labeled. But there's Ibuki's band poster and some posters of sakura trees. You look around your room one more time just to make sure no one from the past snuck in while you were out. You switch off the lamps and sigh. You need and deserve rest.

**Author's Note:**

> umm yea. im gonna write another chapter soon. thank for reading!!!


End file.
